Cook, Clean and Wash??

I never get how some women do it. I am those kinds of women who do not believe in taking up wifely responsibilities unless I am already a wife. By that I mean washing his clothes, cleaning his house, cooking and stocking up his refrigerator with food, having sex, washing the dirty dishes in his sink and picking up after him. Those are things I am supposed to do when I am a wife. I am not saying that I will always refuse to do these when I am dating someone. All I am saying; I will do the above by my terms and conditions. I will cook, clean, wash only if I am in the mood to do so. Not because I am trying to earn bonga points in the dating pool of this man and hope to win the ‘ultimate prize’ of being married to him. There are more important things in life than marriage.

Do not get me wrong I love the institution of marriage and despite all its negative publicity I do hope to get married some day if the Good Lord wills it. A good marriage is the best thing that can happen to anyone. I do believe in the traditional roles of a man and a woman. It is all these ‘gender equality’ business that is ruining marriages. Man and woman will never be equal. We can only have a state of fairness in the society. Anyway back to the issue at hand. The traditional gender roles, yes. That is, the man is head of the house. He is the leader, protector and provider of the house while the woman is the companion who helps him.

“But Jaydra, you cannot expect a man to provide for you while you do absolutely nothing.” Regina one of my girlfriends commented.

“What do you mean by a man providing for me?” I challenged.

“Well, you know like paying for you to go to the salon and get a little bit of pedicure, manicure and hair.”

“Okay first of all Regina I never let a man pay for my salon. I can take care of myself. Furthermore any man who always attempts to provide me with money for the salon I politely decline. He has no business taking care of my appearance if we are not married.”

“Okay, how about when you go out? Who picks up the tab?”

“Mostly he but sometimes I treat him or we go Dutch.”

“How about when you go over to his place, who provides the food?”

“He provides the food, whether it’s take-out or have-to-cook-to-eat.”

“How about when he’s at your place?”

“I do.”

“Who cooks in those cases?”

“Mostly I do, but if he wants to I let him cook.”

“Okay so let me get this straight, you go over to a guy’s place, watch movies, he provides you with food, you cook, have a good time and you still won’t clean his house or clothes.”

“No I wouldn’t. I would only clean his house if it was absolutely filthy and we have to chill out for a while but his clothes hell no. I am not doing that. Besides it is his house and his clothes. I repeat HIS house not OUR house. I have no business cleaning up after him. I will only do all the above when I am his wife.”

“But he is providing for you!”

“Providing for me? How again is he providing for me? Does he pay my rent? No. Does he pay my insurance? No. Is he buying for me property? No. Does he fuel my car? No. Does he pay for my hair? No. My electricity use and water? No. So how exactly is he providing for me? By paying for my meals when we see each other occasionally, that is once a week or once in a fortnight. So that is an implied contract that I should wash his clothes. Regina how many times have I visited you? Did you not pay for my meals or cook for me? Why did you not expect me to wash your clothes or clean up after you?”

“But that is different, he is your boyfriend.”

“Thank you. He is my boyfriend. Key word is boyfriend. Reality is friend is six letters and boy is three letters. That means we should mostly relate as friends and then relate with him as a guy afterwards. If he was a fiancé now maybe we could bend the rules a little. This storo of mamas upgrading themselves to wives before someone has asked you to be his wife is the exact reason women are ending up in situationships. Then you get mad and bitter when after six years of playing wifey, he dumps your ass for a woman who did absolutely none of the above. If you want to play wife be my guest as for me till the guy asks me to be his wife is when I will take up these duties. Till then I stick to my guns and relate as a friend. ”

“You are only saying that because you are young and immature. Wait till you are thirty and everyone is looking at you weird because you are old and single. Believe me then you will play wifey without being asked.” She said laughing with a twinkle in her eye.

“Regina thirty is not the end of life. Like I always say, there are more important things in life other than marriage. I will cook, clean and wash nikitaka. He has not asked me to be his wife, so cooking, cleaning, washing and everything else are privileges not rights.Till then let us relate as friends and not expect things from each other. What happened to true love anyway?”