My Vision: why I Will NOT Write My Future Dreams

My life has been a voyage of discovery.  It has not been an aimless carrying on from a pillar to post, but one controlled by something.  I have been a child of fate.  Mother fate has given me better outcomes; things, events and experiences I never dreamt of but just what I needed most.  It has not been a roller coaster all the time but it has been a normal footpath where my footsteps have already been foreordained where to step as i walk therein.  The terrain has been hills and valleys, sometimes straight and sometimes long loops turns and twists.  Frustrations, jubilation, mourning, celebrations, weeping and ululations have been common destinations and turns on this walk.  

I am a firm believer in God and His will in my life.  It was Him who so long before the foundation of this world who thought of me.  Just a simple attribute in his backside of His mind he willed for me.  He saw it fit I be His son to express and manifest Himself through me.  In addition, I thank him daily to have seen it fit for me to be a man and not a waterfall, a fish or a flying crow-for his will is sovereign.  In addition, on the sixth day, (Genesis 1) God spoke me into existence but then I was just a theophany representation in his own likeness and image.  However, I had to wait for around 6000years to be manifested in a human body form in this last age golden and glorious of all ages

I am not an occurrence of probability or chance as science and evolution would wish me believe.  I am a perfect craftsmanship of the master’s hands, specifically designed and placed in this place for a divine will and purpose.  In there was my sole purpose for me to come to this world packaged and I was programmed with specific qualities and attributes necessary for me to be the most suited person for my work.  Moreover, in there was a full package too for me to be what I ought to be.

A motor vehicle as a full package has windows, windshield, sterling wheels, rims, tires, tubes, engine, wipers, etc.  Each part has a specific role to accomplish for a smooth journey of the vehicle from point A to B and transport people or goods.  Similarly, each one of us as a complete package for nurturing and enabling us to accomplish our foreordained goals.

My work for me to accomplish was defined.  The specific things for me to do were established.  Just as Moses was to deliver the Israelites from Egypt to Canaan and Apostle Paul was given the commission to bring the good news to gentiles, I too was given a chore in this kingdom.  All of us have a scriptural part to play.  We might not all be prophets and apostles but we have our ordained roles to act.  Some might be housewives, some mechanics, some CEOs and whatever the Lord has given us

 I was given my better half too then.  She is the person to complete me and she is my mystery revealed.  She is the person who is my number one fan in my life.  The very one to help me accomplish my work, my companion and helper too, If in Adam there was an Eve so in me is my wife.  We all have eternal mates, but we must pray and search and for them.  However, it is open since a man is given a free will to choose.  You can find one instead of waiting upon the lord.  You will find one yes, but you will be living in hell while still here on earth.  Ladies outside there, we are to be sought after and not us tirelessly searching.

In the package too my God placed where I ought to be and gave the people I ought to be meet.  In here was my area of residence and community the parents and family.  I would never have been born a white man nor is it a mistake that I live in the beloved country Kenya.  If I was in the wrong place, I would be very miserable and pathetic man.  My culture and community I was placed in is the best for me.  It is the only one i can be able to triumph over since we all have to overcome our tribal spirits and fully surrender to the Holy Spirit.  We are all equal and no single tribe is better than any other is.

On and on we can look at the home church, the foreordained pastor/shepherd, area of residence, career etc. all are prepared and we are to walk in them.  Failures to which we will still live successfully and prosper under the God’s permissive will and have to pay the price.  This way we will be paralyzing Gods program for our divine purpose.  However, God will, and does allow it (permissive will) for His glory and honor

Predestination is like prison.  You can only succeed when you walk as it was preordained by Gods foreknowledge.  Predestination comes from the English names pre and destination. Pre means before whereas destiny in simplest terms means the end point.  A man can only succeed where he was planned  we gain this Gods perfect will by getting ourselves out of the way and letting His Holy Spirit to reveal himself to us and follow his Divine counsel and guidance.

Therefore, I will not write down a long wish list of attributes that my wife should have, or the climatic conditions that my place of residence should have nor the kind of funny things I wish to accomplish lest I be found out of Gods will.  Instead I will apply the kneeology (study of kneeling down to pray) to get my vision through revelation of the word of promise in this last age.  In this vision is my wife, my dream house, my place of residence, my home church, my career, my dream car, number of children etc.

 Again, I am not writing my plans but I am praying, studying and watching!  I always have had the free moral agency, BUT I will comfortably allow myself to follow this special love for my future.  It will be more fun and adventurous than just limiting myself to narrow down to shallow documented dreams

Campus Life- Cheers.

Campus life will be over in slightly less than 5 months, and one word for it, just awesome!! i have learnt a lot of things along the way, like preparing delicious meal while on a budget, reading for a cat the day before and somehow passing, i have learnt what it really means to be broke, and one of your relatives decides to surprise you with an M-pesa. for me the best part about campus  has been the friends i have made, they just complete me and make my days in campus worhwhile. they know me inside out, have seen the good, bad and ugly sides to me and i can only hope and pray that we will remain friends for life. to all my friends, cheers!!
i will certainly miss campus, and its a stage of my life that has enabled me to love, grow and learn...

If Kenyan men were to be honest (part 1)

If many of the Kenyan men were to be honest to God, they probably would never date the average Kenyan woman. I will tell you a story of a good friend of mine and his then girlfriend back in 2008. Let us call this guy, Mark and his girlfriend Jenny. So Jenny comes over to Mark’s place on a Saturday afternoon unannounced to surprise him. She has not called Mark to inform him she’s coming over. Mark is busy studying in his room for his pathology test on Monday. He hears a knock on his door and thinks it his study buddies coming over for a major cramming session so that can ace this test. He opens the door and alas! There is Jenny in all her beauty.

“Hey Jenny, what you doing here?” asks Mark surprise written all over his face.

“Am here to see you, I’ve missed you so much.” Jenny replies hugging him. She walks into the room scans around and notices all the books on the table and floor. “What have you been doing? This place is such a mess.”

“I’ve been studying. I have pathology on Monday.”

“Oh, I had no idea. Anyway, I’ve come with pizza and soda, thought we could do a movie or something.”

“I am so sorry; I really don’t have time for that right now. My friends are coming over at four we go through some questions so I have to only two hours to get all this content. You can make yourself at home though and you can use the laptop to watch the movie.”

Jenny picks the laptop from him and he buries his nose into his books. After a few minutes of silence, she speaks up again. “Yaani you Mark you never have time for me.” Mark stares at her quizzically. She continues, “I have come all the way from USIU to see you, and you can’t even sacrifice two hours to watch a movie with me; and this is not the first time.” Now tears are streaming from her eyes.

Mark is now completely baffled. Where is this coming from? Has he not sacrificed study groups for this girl to watch movies with her? Has he not spent hours and hours texting and calling her until late in the night just to talk about nothing and help her deal with her issues when he knows he has clinical ward rounds with that arrogant consultant from hell at 8 a.m. who likes to ask difficult questions and embarrass you in front of patients and your classmates when you get it wrong? What about the time he spent taking her on numerous dates and footing the bills on his little pocket money just so that she can have a good time and cheer her up when she is low? Sure, he has not always had time for her; but med school isn’t international relations at USIU.

“Mark, are you going to say something or you prefer to keep quiet and admit am saying the truth?” she asked amidst sobs. Now men are not the best creatures at handling a crying woman so he keeps quiet and lets her finish crying. After what seemed like eternity, she finally stopped sobbing.

He cleared his throat and spoke up. “Well Jenny, the only times I have not had time for you is when you come over without calling first. I have always told you to call first.” (Ha ha, I know, wrong answer. Men, they can be so thick sometimes.)

“Mark I’m your girlfriend, I should be able to see you when I want!” she says angrily. “I am tired of being taken for granted. You never have time for me. If a man loves you he will always have time for you.” Mark just keeps quiet. This is total ambush. He loves her. He is always there for her. He has sacrificed a lot of time to be with her. Never has she once footed a bill whenever they went out mark you they are both students and she even comes from a richer family compared to him. Her dad is a diplomat and he relies on HELB and his elder brother to get by. All the times he ate Ugali na Sukuma wiki in the mess just so that she can buy her a gift and those expensive chocolates she really loves to show her how much he appreciates her. How many times has she come over to his hostel and he has paid for everything from lunch to supper to breakfast and even her fare back to USIU? She can’t even offer to pay for her fare to UoN, he always compensates her if she spends her money or sends her money in advance for her to come over. How can she claim he is taking her for granted? She speaks up again. “Mark I’m tired of not being a priority so I’m giving you a choice right now; it’s either me or your books.”

“Jenny, I really don’t have time for this right now I have to study for pathology. Can we talk about this later?”

“Forget it Mark, I have seen your choice. I’m done with this shit.” She walked out banging the door to his hostel. Mark is still shocked. He can’t believe what has happened. He keeps reading assuming this is just her in a bad mood.

A few minutes later his friend Drew knocks and walks into his room. “Heee Mark, leo kumestink! Anyway iza, she will come around. For now tumechelewa discussion, twende kwa kina Steve tudiscuss pathology.”

On Monday evening at around 9 p.m. Mark calls Jenny. She is not picking up her phone. He texts her and calls her several times and no response. Concerned he logs onto Facebook to check if she is online. Jenny has blocked him. She really meant business. After three weeks of waiting for her to come round, he realizes she is not coming back. She really has walked away. After all he did for her. She has thrown away a year just like that. Mark graduated from med school, and right now all the women automatically smile and light up whenever they hear he’s a doctor even though they had ignored him initially before he said he’s one. He’s never ever spoken to Jenny again since. According to Mark just being a doctor is enough to make a woman have interest in him. Now I won’t say who was right or wrong. You be the judge. I will tell you the moral of this story later.

LOVE

I love you; those are words I hear a lot. Parents to children, children to their parents, friends, siblings, dating and married couples all use it. We go further and use it for food, movie stars, musicians, experiences and places. We also say we love God. We love all these. What exactly do we mean by that?

In my opinion this has to be one of the most fruitless inquiries in the history of mankind. There is no one definition of what love is. It has been my experience that when people say they love someone or something, they mean it in very different ways and that most of those have an element of selfish behind them. I may be wrong but then again I think not.

Just listen to one of those wedding shows at the section where the couple describes how they first met and what they like most in each other. Usually it involves what one can get from the other, not really about the individual for themselves. Even we love God because he has been good to us, because he has given us and all that. This in my opinion explains many cases of divorces and backsliding. When our expectations are disappointed then ‘love’ vanishes into thin air. The idea of love these days is someone or something that satisfies our own self most.

But then again, is it wrong to be selfish? Not entirely. We as humans need others to survive. Any meaningful relationship between humans will have to be a give and take. This will work as long as each party does their part. To be happy and fulfilled we need others. To be loved we must also dare to love. We must be willing to give ourselves, to trust and to be vulnerable. It is when we are not able and willing to give ourselves that ‘love’ becomes selfish. It is when we want to enjoy others without paying the cost that in my opinion leads to people concluding that Love is a myth.

If an artist I love is coming to town and I want to see them, I must be willing to pay the fare and entry fees to go see them. I must be ready to pay for an event or experience I ‘love’, if not I should question myself on whether I really love them as I claim. If I want to live a good life I know I must work hard to get it. What then makes me think I can enjoy a person without paying the full cost?

To not be labeled an idealist, I realize and acknowledge that loving a person is not as simple as a favourite concert or pizza. However, the rationale is the same. To enjoy someone we must be willing to pay the price which is also being ready for them to enjoy us. If we are not ready then, we do not love them, we are being selfish and we should respect them enough to let them go.

To further illustrate my thinking, here are a couple of questions. What would we do if our spouses were incapacitated, could not have kids, lost their job, lost their good looks or were not so interesting anymore? What would we do if God had us go through what Job or Joseph went through? What if we became more successful than our friends and we do not need them anymore? What if our siblings betray us?

The most natural response is to run, to quit. But Love demands we stay. If we really love, we have to say and fight. Once love has been tested and passed through fire, the end result is the most fulfilling thing in the world.

But finally, I do not have a single definition for love. Whatever the relationship or connection, if it is mutual, sincere and ready to stand the tests, then its headed in the direction.

Real love is tested love. That is my verdict!!

My high School reverend

Bishop Dr Prophet Pastor Victor Kanyari. Well what a mouthful. Well I don’t know who decided that people should award themselves titles just because they can. People work hard to earn titles especially that doctor title. Medical school is no joke and getting a PhD is not a walk in the park either. So “Dr. Kanyari “ please show some respect before declaring how you can just award yourself a title because that is what people do. I don’t know who these people are.

While every other Kenyan is mad at this pastor we are missing the whole point here. What this pastor did is a trend in churches. How many pastors in Kenya have undeserved titles? Even in your local church I can bet your pastor has some fancy title like doctor, Nabii or Kuhani. It’s a way to get respect and trust from the flock. When I hear my pastor is Pastor Rev. Dr. Odero. I am more likely to believe he is credible than if he was just Pastor Odero. Its psychology, we tend to trust people who are learned. Explains why we trust doctors (pun intended) and many pastors have these Daktari title. What is wrong with this picture? This is the first step to hoodwink the flock. This does not mean every pastor with a fancy title is a liar. There are those who genuinely have a PhD or are medics and therefore were awarded those titles by credible institutions all around the world. Those who decide to give themselves these titles should be flogged for not showing respect to the individuals who worked hard to get this Dr.title.

Pastor Kanyari really emphasized the Malachi 3:10 verse. “Toa sadaka ya 310 na uone kama hutabarikiwa.” Well this is also nothing new in our Kenyan churches especially. How many times has your pastor read that verse and spent two hours preaching on that verse alone? I do not know how a single verse can be turned in a two hour sermon but somehow our pastors do it. After the sermon we are all ‘touched’ to tithe. If you ask me, it is pure blackmail. You are on a tight budget then suddenly because your pastor gave a two hour sermon on 10% you decide to remove a certain amount on that particular Sunday when it was not part of your plans for the month. Then you spend the rest of the month struggling to get through, meanwhile your pastor takes a trip to Egypt with his wife and children all thanks to your ‘tithes’.

 I remember when we were in high school, our dear Reverend decided to read this particular verse and went ahead to tell us that we should consider giving 10% of our pocket money as tithe. It is also good to note, Malachi is in the Old Testament. Of all the verses in the O.T. why do pastors especially emphasize this verse? Why not emphasize any of the other verses in the Old Testament? Why this one that has to do with money and percentages? While we are on this issue of tithing where in the New Testament is a verse on tithe? I will admit, I am not very familiar with my Bible but as far as my knowledge goes I do not know of any verse in the New Testament that talks about tithe. Now do not get me wrong, I have nothing against giving a tenth of your income; but if you decide to tithe, do it from the heart. Do not do it under compulsion or a sense of duty. God loves a cheerful giver.

I absolutely refused to contribute 10% of my pocket money as tithe. The last time I checked pocket money is a small amount of money for day-to-day spending, incidental expenses, etc while income is money received, especially on a regular basis, for work or through investments. I do not know in which universe my weekly allowance for expenses is counted as regular money from work or investments. Dear high school Reverend POCKET MONEY is not INCOME.

I was and still am a firm believer of fides et ratio. This means faith and reason. I believe if something is not logical then it must be a lie. That was the sole reason why no pastor would convince me that pocket money and income is one and the same thing. Faith and reason are essential together. Faith without reason leads to superstition. On the other hand reason without faith leads to nihilism and relativism. It is because of my belief that I believe in evolution, aliens, heaven, hell, the resurrection of Jesus and many other things that would make Christians raise their eyebrows. So I will not get into all that for now. Now on this issue of miracles, it is actually quite impossible to be convinced of many of the modern day miracles and revelations. Personally, any revelation or miracle must be backed by logic. Yes, you were healed of cancer, how come none of your relatives knew you had cancer. If I found out I had cancer today, I would first of all call my mum or sister. Oh, you say there are needles in my body? Why is it I have not experienced any pain? You claim someone bewitched me? Why is it I have been feeling just fine? If it is not logical then you are definitely lying to me.

What pastor Kanyari did is not new. A lot of pastors in our local churches do the same exact thing with just more finesse. Why is it that we are asked to raise money every other Sunday because inafaa tujengee pastor nyumba sababu mchungaji hawezi kuishi kwa nyumba ya one bed room? Why is it that our pastors will spend over thirty minutes telling us how God has blessed them with material things and personal success because he is a man of God? Why do they emphasize the M-pesa number and not the sermon? What’s with the two hour testimonies in church then immediately after tunatoa sadaka? Why does Brother Zephaniah start an entirely new church just because he got a private revelation from God? Why move from Church A to Church B just because Pastor Zephaniah gets private revelations from God? What answers are these we are looking for? What do we think we will get from Pastor Zephaniah’s church that is not in Pastor Obadiah’s Church?