The proposal

Well the internet has been buzzing with that blogger’s engagement story who got a proposal on Mt. Kenya. I still can’t decide on my feelings about that story but if my boyfriend put a ring in my dessert or went the entire 9 yards and hired a plane or yacht and proposed in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, on top of the pyramids or on top of Mt. Everest or got a flash mob to dance out the proposal, I am convinced that I will probably say yes to please him or save him from public humiliation. Being proposed to in such a grand way, puts the lady under pressure and she really can’t say no even though she isn’t ready for marriage, it’s the perfect guarantee to a yes. It’s a bit manipulative, like heck he hired a yacht and helicopter and took you to Burj Al Arab, the only seven star luxury hotel in the world and now you are really going to say no? You have to really not care an ounce for this guy for you to say no, it is effort on all areas of planning: starting with his time, resources; am talking finances, logistics, man power, material, preparing that speech, internet bundles. When you do the math you really can’t turn him down.

The grander the experience the more likely you are to say yes, you know the way exotic places make you all starry eyed and everything just seems perfect? Yes, like if he hired a yacht and took me to Burj Al Arab, well I can come up with ten reasons as to why I would say yes that have got nothing to do with marriage, but I will narrow it down to three. First of all we are in the only seven star hotel, I don’t want him associating such an exotic place with sadness I don’t want to be the woman who rejected him in Burj Al Arab. Two that hotel is simply too gorgeous and I bet the view from that hotel is breath-taking. In that moment away from the daily stresses of life, everything is beautiful; even he is beautiful, you can hardly remember all the things about him that send you screaming into the night. Three well if I say no, he may leave me in that hotel and I don’t have the means or the finances to pay for all that shit and get back home without stress so I’m going to save myself this stress and say yes. See nothing to do with marriage.

I am an idealist and my perfect proposal is just one that happens right there in the middle of life daily routine. I don’t want a proposal on the weekend that we get away to have a vacation. I don’t want a proposal in a restaurant either. I want a proposal on that afternoon when both of us are too lazy to go out and there we are at his place, just playing FIFA or Tekken on PS having fries and out of nowhere the conversation turns really deep and he proposes. At that moment I can really think about marriage and marriage to him. He isn’t dressed up so he looks awful or normal, there is no audience so I don’t have to worry about public humiliation, no audience screaming for me to say yes, no breath-taking scenery nor music in the background to affect my mood, we are in a normal place and he didn’t plan much except buy a ring. In that moment I can really think about marriage and a life with him with no pressure. In that moment my answer will really be genuine. But that is just me.

I know a lot of women love grand, straight-from-the-movies kind of proposals but I think a proposal when you are doing the most normal of things will get you a more honest answer. In fact propose right in Debonairs when you are having pizza or after the Sunday morning service or after Bible study or when walking her home or when you driving and are stuck in traffic or your local joint. I hope you catch my drift. The more normal the activity the more genuine the answer. So what do you think? Grand proposal or normal proposal?