If Kenyan men were to be honest (part 1)

If many of the Kenyan men were to be honest to God, they probably would never date the average Kenyan woman. I will tell you a story of a good friend of mine and his then girlfriend back in 2008. Let us call this guy, Mark and his girlfriend Jenny. So Jenny comes over to Mark’s place on a Saturday afternoon unannounced to surprise him. She has not called Mark to inform him she’s coming over. Mark is busy studying in his room for his pathology test on Monday. He hears a knock on his door and thinks it his study buddies coming over for a major cramming session so that can ace this test. He opens the door and alas! There is Jenny in all her beauty.

“Hey Jenny, what you doing here?” asks Mark surprise written all over his face.

“Am here to see you, I’ve missed you so much.” Jenny replies hugging him. She walks into the room scans around and notices all the books on the table and floor. “What have you been doing? This place is such a mess.”

“I’ve been studying. I have pathology on Monday.”

“Oh, I had no idea. Anyway, I’ve come with pizza and soda, thought we could do a movie or something.”

“I am so sorry; I really don’t have time for that right now. My friends are coming over at four we go through some questions so I have to only two hours to get all this content. You can make yourself at home though and you can use the laptop to watch the movie.”

Jenny picks the laptop from him and he buries his nose into his books. After a few minutes of silence, she speaks up again. “Yaani you Mark you never have time for me.” Mark stares at her quizzically. She continues, “I have come all the way from USIU to see you, and you can’t even sacrifice two hours to watch a movie with me; and this is not the first time.” Now tears are streaming from her eyes.

Mark is now completely baffled. Where is this coming from? Has he not sacrificed study groups for this girl to watch movies with her? Has he not spent hours and hours texting and calling her until late in the night just to talk about nothing and help her deal with her issues when he knows he has clinical ward rounds with that arrogant consultant from hell at 8 a.m. who likes to ask difficult questions and embarrass you in front of patients and your classmates when you get it wrong? What about the time he spent taking her on numerous dates and footing the bills on his little pocket money just so that she can have a good time and cheer her up when she is low? Sure, he has not always had time for her; but med school isn’t international relations at USIU.

“Mark, are you going to say something or you prefer to keep quiet and admit am saying the truth?” she asked amidst sobs. Now men are not the best creatures at handling a crying woman so he keeps quiet and lets her finish crying. After what seemed like eternity, she finally stopped sobbing.

He cleared his throat and spoke up. “Well Jenny, the only times I have not had time for you is when you come over without calling first. I have always told you to call first.” (Ha ha, I know, wrong answer. Men, they can be so thick sometimes.)

“Mark I’m your girlfriend, I should be able to see you when I want!” she says angrily. “I am tired of being taken for granted. You never have time for me. If a man loves you he will always have time for you.” Mark just keeps quiet. This is total ambush. He loves her. He is always there for her. He has sacrificed a lot of time to be with her. Never has she once footed a bill whenever they went out mark you they are both students and she even comes from a richer family compared to him. Her dad is a diplomat and he relies on HELB and his elder brother to get by. All the times he ate Ugali na Sukuma wiki in the mess just so that she can buy her a gift and those expensive chocolates she really loves to show her how much he appreciates her. How many times has she come over to his hostel and he has paid for everything from lunch to supper to breakfast and even her fare back to USIU? She can’t even offer to pay for her fare to UoN, he always compensates her if she spends her money or sends her money in advance for her to come over. How can she claim he is taking her for granted? She speaks up again. “Mark I’m tired of not being a priority so I’m giving you a choice right now; it’s either me or your books.”

“Jenny, I really don’t have time for this right now I have to study for pathology. Can we talk about this later?”

“Forget it Mark, I have seen your choice. I’m done with this shit.” She walked out banging the door to his hostel. Mark is still shocked. He can’t believe what has happened. He keeps reading assuming this is just her in a bad mood.

A few minutes later his friend Drew knocks and walks into his room. “Heee Mark, leo kumestink! Anyway iza, she will come around. For now tumechelewa discussion, twende kwa kina Steve tudiscuss pathology.”

On Monday evening at around 9 p.m. Mark calls Jenny. She is not picking up her phone. He texts her and calls her several times and no response. Concerned he logs onto Facebook to check if she is online. Jenny has blocked him. She really meant business. After three weeks of waiting for her to come round, he realizes she is not coming back. She really has walked away. After all he did for her. She has thrown away a year just like that. Mark graduated from med school, and right now all the women automatically smile and light up whenever they hear he’s a doctor even though they had ignored him initially before he said he’s one. He’s never ever spoken to Jenny again since. According to Mark just being a doctor is enough to make a woman have interest in him. Now I won’t say who was right or wrong. You be the judge. I will tell you the moral of this story later.